8 Actions That Help Ease Young Children’s Anxiety

Updated 9/15/2025

Young children who frequently experience anxious feelings need patient, caring, and knowledgeable adults to provide them with effective support. Adapted from the home visiting guidebook Tackling the Tough Stuff by Angela Tomlin and Stephan A. Viehweg, the tips in today’s blog post can help. Share these ideas with the parents of young children—and adapt them for any setting to help kids work through their fears and worries.

Prepare children for events they might find scary. Use books, TV programs when appropriate, or other indirect ways to get a child used to a feared object, person, or situation. For example, to help a child prepare for a doctor visit, read books and watch children’s programs about doctors to gain familiarity. Provide a doctor’s kit and encourage the child to give the caregiver, doll, or stuffed animal a pretend checkup. Take the child to the doctor’s office for a visit that does not involve a checkup. It might also help to see an older sibling successfully complete a doctor’s visit.

Encourage children’s curiosity and play. Specific encouraging statements are more helpful for shy and anxious children than just warm statements. Encouraging statements provide an actual suggestion (e.g., “You can sit and play in the sandbox with that little girl.”) instead of words of general praise, like “You’re doing great!”).

Teach children to recognize and name feelings. Children who have difficulty recognizing basic emotions may be more likely to incorrectly interpret another person’s facial expression and emotion as negative, increasing their anxiety. Help children identify feelings by pointing out emotional states in other people (“That boy’s mommy had to go in the other room and he was worried about where she was.”) and naming emotional states in the child (“You are so excited to go to the park! Tell your feet to be calm so they can go into their shoes so we can leave.”)

Give support and comfort in new situations. Provide support as the child warms up or comfort when the child is too dysregulated by fear. Caregivers who try to push the child to interact too soon, insist on interactions with new people, or leave the child too quickly in new situations will find that these methods don’t work (and may even make things worse).

Avoid dragging out separations. When dropping children off for child care or leaving them to go out, settle the child with the adult who will be caring for them. Then follow three steps: say you are going, say it is okay to stay with this person, and say you will be back. Don’t sneak out and to try to avoid looking worried, as children will take your lead as to how to feel about the separation.

Offer alternative ways of connecting. For children who experience anxious feelings around interactions with others, try coaching them in low-contact methods. For example, teach a child to smile and wave to unfamiliar adults if making eye contact or speaking is too hard. A child who does not want to give a kiss or hug to a family member could give a high five or fist bump instead.

Provide increased structure. More structure in the home environment (as well as day care and school) is likely to ease anxiety in any child. That’s because structure, including regular routines, lets children feel that the world is predictable.

Select age-appropriate activities. Be sure that young children are engaged with activities that are appropriate for their developmental level and don’t contain frightening imagery that can increase their anxiety. For example, shield young children from scary movies and video games used by adults or older children in the home.