17 Tips for Helping Young Children with Cooperation and Sharing

If you’re an early childhood professional or a parent of young children, you know how important it is to teach kids interpersonal skills like cooperation and sharing.

Adapted from the new edition of the bestselling Beautiful Beginnings curriculum for birth to three, this article shares tips for helping young children develop three important skills:

• talking and listening in a small group
• taking turns with toys and other materials
• playing with peers

Talking and Listening in a Small Group

• Ask the child questions or use a type of show and tell approach in which each person speaks or shows an item. Encourage the child to pay attention to other speakers, speak so that others can understand them, and encourage other speakers to listen fully when the child speaks.
• Draw the child into a conversation with another child and gently encourage the two children to take turns speaking. When another child is telling a story, encourage the first child to listen carefully and encourage them to ask questions of the speaker.
• Compliment the child or children on listening well, especially when they are able to do this without cues. Help the children find common conversation topics and themes.
• While reading stories, point out when characters express themselves and when others are good listeners.
• If the child wants to talk during another child’s turn, provide a gestural cue such as puffing your cheeks with air and holding an index finger to your mouth to remind them to be quiet while the other person talks. Be sure to let the child know they did a good job listening afterward.
• If the child needs even more support, preteach with an adult partner. Have the adult talk, show the child the bubble/finger gesture to help them be quiet, then do a countdown with your fingers from five to zero. When you get to zero fingers, say, “Thanks for listening; it’s your turn.” Let the child talk while the adult listens attentively, exaggerating the bubble-in-mouth gesture. Then, after a bit, have the adult do the countdown to show it’s their turn. Go back and forth taking turns talking.

Taking Turns with Toys and Other Materials

• If the child wants a toy that another child is playing with, teach them to ask, “Can I have it when you are done?” If the other child says “Yes,” then keep an eye on the situation and be certain the child receives the toy when the other child is finished. They may need to be supported in following through.
• Emphasize sharing when children are working on individual projects that involve shared materials. For example, when working with playdough, provide enough materials for every child to have one tool (e.g., a rolling pin, a cookie cutter, a plastic knife). Invite the children to exchange the tools.
• Model language such as “when finished,” “wait,” “next,” “done,” “your turn,” “their turn,” and “share.”
• When reading, stop to discuss what the characters are doing. If a character is taking turns, waiting, or exchanging, point that out.
• Using a visual timer such as a sand timer or app can help show the child how long they have to wait for their turn.
• It’s a good idea to have duplicates of the most popular toys rather than insisting that children always share.
• Many young children will need some ongoing adult support as they learn how to share. Continuing to model sharing and helping the child work through their complicated feelings around sharing will help the child succeed in the long run.

Playing with Peers

• Model words such as “cooperating,” “sharing,” “working together,” “playing together,” and “building together.”
• When reading stories, point out when characters are working and playing together.
• Set up block play, making sure there is room for at least two children. If the children are building while engaged in parallel play, ask them if they can build a tower together by taking turns adding blocks to the tower. Encourage one child to offer pieces to the other child to put on the tower. Use a similar strategy in other play schemes that the children are interested in.
• If children need more support, simplify by sitting between two children and facilitating joint play. Have the block pieces in a small bin in your lap and start building the block tower. Hand each child a block, encourage them to put it on the tower, then go back and forth giving them each a block to stack. Gradually set the small bin on the floor and back away to see if the two children will continue to work together. Offer support as needed.

If you liked these ideas, invest in Beautiful Beginnings for 350+ more! This NEW birth to three curriculum is full of joyful, engaging experiences that build on each child’s strengths and interests and encourage progress in areas of concern.